Most people start off with a representative when they first start dating; you don’t really get to know the real person until a couple of months into dating.
Dating is a game until you are no longer in it for sport but for the long term mate so there is always going to be a representative in the beginning of the courtship even if it’s unintentionally.
I cannot imagine being married to a w.man due to my own racist views and because of all the outside pressures that come along with it.
I’m pro-black in love and all other aspects. I’ll stick to my own.
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Interracial Dating
Filed Under: Featured, Marriage + Relationships by Carrie Pink September 9, 2010, 10:06 am
4 Comments![]() |
| Photo By Merlin A. Summers/WireImage |
Now-a-days with the assumed lack of qualified black men in our communities compared to those professional black woman who consider themselves qualified (no shots) I’m hearing many more women say now more than ever that they are willing to date outside of their race to find the best suitor.
Now with this new declaration I often wonder if these questions ever arise… What is an interracial relationship like? And what does it sound like? What are the unforeseen challenges? How do you adapt to the variance if any in cultures? Should black women even be worrying about these questions or does love transcend race?
Maybe its just me but I worry how many people allow general personality differences and culture clashes to play out in their relationships. I mean for me personally there are black men who I wouldn’t date because our personalities don’t mesh, so you’d assume when going interracial you’d still use the same judgement.
But everyone doesn’t seem to think the same way. I find some women who venutre into the world of interracial dating literally changing who they are to be more appealing to the interracial dating pool. They are changing the way they look, the way they speak and how they act…..
Is this an acceptable byproduct of the quest for love? Pretending to be someone who aren’t just to attract a man? And yes I say to attract a man because I don’t really see men who interacially date doing the same thing.
I would think to date period there are some ground rules that need to be in place no? No matter their race the person should be someone you find to be cool as all hell, enjoy at least some of the same things you enjoy and most importantly both of you should feel completely comfortable around each other.
If the comfort isn’t there aren’t you just faking jacks? How long can you possibly keep that act up?
Literally the relationship is pretty much doomed when you don’t even bring your real personality to the table.
So tell me your thoughts? Have you seen those new to the interracial dating realm personality fake? Do they really think that’s the way it should be?
Hmmm now that I think about it, I’ve seen people personality fake when dating within their own race….
What ever happened to being true to self?
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Carrie Pink
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Marie says September 9, 2010,10:36 am
Joseph Caballero says September 9, 2010,11:54 am
A person actively making changes to their personality/appearance to better suite the person they're with/trying to be with is not an issue that's exclusive to interracial dating. It's an issue people deal with when they aren't secure with the person they are.
Maybe I'm crazy but these issues seem kinda dated don't you think? As people who have fought for equal rights & treatments on 2 fronts (as women & members of the black commmunity) shouldn't black women embrace the freedoms that come with dating whom they please? What does one preserve when they date strictly within their own race?
Relationships should be based on 3 factors, compatibility, respect and attraction. When you are incorporating other minor mitigating factors (and race should be a non-factor nowadays) then you're selling yourself short.
Nathan "The Black Man’s Black Man" Wilson says September 9, 2010,2:38 pm
Interesting perspective. People are always putting on when they first meet others, but to totally change your personality completely says that you don't think being a black woman is good enough to find a decent man. I understand the thinking, but I don't agree with the action. But who am I to judge? Good read.
Meeka says September 9, 2010,3:09 pm
I have never had the please of dating outside of my race. For me, I've just never found someone outside of my race who I was attracted to. If that someone were to come along I would have no problem dating them. I am not against interracial dating. What ever makes you happy in life and love I say rock with it. The only thing that bothers me is that folks have a habit of justifying why they are going outside of their race with asinine reason. Rather than admitting that the another race is what attracts them and gets their blood boiling they come up with reasons such as someone of my race doesn't do what I want and they do or they talk down to me, etc. The fact of the matter is that women at the end of the day are women. Aside from their flaws they have for the most part the same issues. Regardless of race, they worry whether their too fat, not pretty enough, good enough to get him, etc. At the end of the day it is all about attraction and nothing more. There are plenty of women regardless of race who will not be at your beck and call and vice-versus for men. There are plenty of men regardless of race who appreciate their women. You want to inter-racially date….fine with me. Just please call it what it is….you found someone who you happen to be attracted to. Nothing more and nothing less
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